Lord Noon
Lord Noon is a homicidal psychopath of unverified origins, who has been known to enter the professional wrestling circuit for mystifying reasons. History (Note: The following information is not known to any actual characters within e-wrestling as a whole. It is presented here solely to provide a full recording of Noon's genesis and career.) Lord Noon, under his as-yet-unrevealed real name, was born somewhere in England, possibly Somerset, over two hundred years ago. His family held a high position in the social pecking order of the time, and he inherited ownership of a considerable mass of land, holding many farms and cotton mills, making him exceedingly rich. This in turn made him the object of affection for many women from other upper-class families looking to marry into money - this is prior to all that Suffrage nonsense, you understand. At any rate, the man who would become Noon wound up settling down with a small, pretty and often spunky lady named Cynthia, and they celebrated the birth of their first two children - twin girls, Rose and Muriel - in early September, 1809. And then in the long summer of 1817, the man strangled his children and shot his wife with an imported Colt S.A.A. Questions began circulating in the village when Cynthia missed her social appointments for several days in a row. Eventually, the local constabulary finally decided to do their job and investigate, arriving on the front doorstep of the once-happy couple's estate to ask a few innocuous queries. What they found instead was the man shrieking with rage, his face lined with dried tears, holding the bodies of his family close to him. Further investigation was deemed unnecessary after the officers listened to enough of his weeping, stuttering admissions of guilt. Stripped of his clothes and all earthly possessions, the man was left to wait in a cold, dark cell overnight whilst a jury of his peers debated their course of action, pausing only to remind the man that he'd meet his fate the following day at 12 o'clock. This fact engraved itself into his mind to the point where he could no longer keep the anguish inside, and so externalised it by scratching the sign of 'XII' across his body in as many places as he could reach with his fingernails. By the time he was brought to court, he had no voice left to protest the judgement given to him: death by hanging. At exactly 12 o'clock, midday, the man suffered his short drop and sudden stop in the centre of town. But this was not his journey's end. Due to a failed manipulation of Eternity on a level unfathomable to the backwards minds that occupied the planet back then, the man did not die. Even as he hung there, paralyzed with a broken neck, breath still continued to fill his lungs, and his heart kept pounding at a steady rate. The townsfolk thought this the work of the Devil, and so constructed high walls around the elevated noose and the man trapped in its embrace, then left both to rot. The years passed and the world moved on, through two cataclysmic wars and countless sociopolitical upheavals - but the broken man remained, his alert mind idling over what little stimuli was available to him as the walls were buried beneath homes, warehouses, bomb shelters, whatever the current trends demanded be built. And after going over the deaths of his family again and again and again, the man came to a realisation; he'd actually, if he was honest, quite enjoyed killing them. He'd smiled as the little ones' underdeveloped lungs had strained for oxygen, and his heart had lifted as Cynthia's godawful screeching was cut off by the dry bark from the revolver's muzzle. It is at this point that Lord Noon was officially born. His arrival in the modern world came at the beginning of September, 2008. Jolted from his daydreaming - he never sleeps - by the sounds of heavy machinery, Noon thought at first that merely another construction effort was occurring on the surface. This was not the case, however, as his vault was breached by unknown intruders, three of them. One made him an offer; release from his longtime prison in exchange for his loyal servitude whenever it was needed. A new set of handcuffs to exchange the old ones. Nevertheless, Noon accepted, and was free to walk the Earth again, now something both more - and less - than human... Wrestling career Global Wrestling Incorporated After a month of being left alone to his own devices, Lord Noon was finally contacted by his superiors, and given puzzling instructions; he was to be employed by the glitzy island-based pro wrestling promotion Global Wrestling Incorporated (GWi). Noon obliged, and landed on the island in a flurry of mangled human and broken aeroplane. He proceeded to murder several employees of the company and win a Make Your Mark Match held on October 6 (against Amberly Barnes, Christopher Freedman, Rix Usher and Brand 'Echo' Brolin) by threatening to kill the referee. Alas, Noon's time in the spotlight was cut short by the GWi's collapse, due to backstage politicking. Hunting for Reno Taylor and company chief executive Daniel Scott at the time, Noon was suddenly left aimless again, and simply disappeared. Xtreme Fighting Championship Eventually, after much turmoil, the remains of GWi were bought by the island's original master, the 'Big Guy', who restored the name of his pet project, XFC. Lord Noon had been keeping himself busy by tending to matters for his masters over the last few months, but when XFC returned, he was instructed to return to the island; there were certain folks present there that needed to be taught a lesson, of the fatal variety. The XFC made its official return to the airwaves with Blood Fusion on January 12, 2009, headlined by a battle royale in a gimmick-strewn double-tiered ring. The contest was eventually won by Lucifer Hawks. Noon, meanwhile, suffered a deeply infuriating count-out loss to enormous man-child Enforcer at Omega Rising I, before inexplicably attacking Cora Vaughn Taylor during her match, costing her a chance at gaining the Parental Advisory championship. This logically led to a Noon vs. Taylor singles match, which Noon won with apparent reluctance. The next week, Cora teamed with Outkast to defeat Noon and DraVen Frost, after Noon was sent running to the back by Outkast's bum-chum Enforcer. This prompted Noon to kill himself, for some reason. He was not seen for months. The Second Coming Though the details remain vague, Lord Noon's resurrection has been confirmed by eyewitnesses who have reported seeing his distinctive self entering and leaving Paragon Helix' current headquarters in Las Vegas since late October 2009. The exact details of his current mission are unknown. Curiously, Lord Noon has been accepted as part of the forthcoming King of the Crimson Sun Tournament, a one-night deathmatch-styled wrestling event, promoted by A Wandering Drifter Productions. The event is due to take place in December '09, with promotion work starting shortly. Adding to the mystery is the fact that Noon will be working the tournament without his familiar mask, and the meaning behind this cosmetic change is currently a hot debate topic amongst many message-board fans. Movelist Basic Moves *European Uppercut *Boxing lock-up with repeated knee strikes *Dropping Front Suplex *Big Boot *Manhattan Drop/Inverted Atomic Drop *Chop-block *Double Shoulder Claw *Pendulum Backbreaker *Floatover DDT *Discus Punch Signature Moves *'You Leave Me Breathless' (From regular standing position, Lord Noon pulls the opponent's head back by the hair, then strikes the chest with an elbow whilst simultaneously driving a knee into the upper back, sandwiching the lungs between the two points. *'Hickory Dickory Dock' (To counter an opponent who has scaled the turnbuckle, Noon runs up to stand on the top rope in front of them, quickly striking with a rabbit punch to the face to disorient, before heaving the opponent up into a Gorilla Press - whilst still on the top rope - and casually tossing the opponent down, either back into the ring or to the outside. This can also be attempted against opponents who are balanced atop any other form of elevated position.) *'Queensbury Rules?' (Noon wrenches the opponent's arm and twists it behind their back; then, whilst holding the arm in place with one hand, he raises his free arm and drives the point of his elbow into the back of his opponent's head, knocking them down to their knees, from where Noon is free to blast them with nasty, not-condoned-by-UFC punches to the rear of their skull.) *'Punisher' (After a running start, Noon leaps into a Clothesline, but wraps both arms around his opponent's neck in mid-air, and lands on one foot, using his momentum to bring his opponent down and drive the back of their neck into his raised knee.) *'Derren Brown Special' (Taking his cue from the popular hypnotist and stage magician, Noon reaches into his jacket and removes a pocket watch on a chain, which he opens and dangles in front of a dazed opponent, gently swinging it back and forth, back and forth...and just as the opponent is getting sleepy, or maybe just confused, Noon steps forward, grabs their hair, and violently smashes the watch over their head.) Finishing Moves *'Doomsday Clock' (Hooking one of the opponent's arms over his head and grabbing one of their legs, Noon hoists them up in a similar fashion to the Angle Slam, but upon getting them up, Noon pulls their arm sharply across his face, causing the opponent to spin off his shoulders and round to his front side; at which point, Noon hops slightly, and falls onto his back, tucking his knees up as he goes, keeping a hold on the opponent by one leg and the neck to crush the opponent spine-first across his shins.) Other Notes Fighting Style Brawler - Lord Noon does not see the difference between wrestling and fighting, and so treats each match like a straightforward brawl, striking with fast, calculated and brutal fists, kicks and headbutts, only pausing to grab someone around the neck and throw them into something hard. Think along the lines of how Daniel Craig's James Bond fights. Ring Attire Black tuxedo, stained brown with dried blood; white velvet gloves on hands; black bow tie and frilly white shirt; head covered by wooden mask resembling the head of a classic ventriloquist's dummy; nondescript shoes; all skin from the neck down is marked with scars in the shape of the number 12; jacket hides pancake holster containing Sweet Bertha Faye, his personalised Colt Python revolver. Trivia/Fun Facts! * Lord Noon's real name can only be pronounced with a sock stuffed in the speaker's left cheek. * Lord Noon's preferred aftershave is Ultraviolet Man by Paco Rabanne. * The chicken crossed the road because Lord Noon said he'd shoot it if it didn't. * Nine out of ten cats prefer Whiska's. The tenth one knows that Lord Noon's toes taste better. * Lord Noon's ears are not exactly where you'd expect them to be. * When God said, "Let there be light", Lord Noon said, "Buy a torch, idiot." * Lord Noon does not have a third nipple. He does, however, have five full tracts of intestines. * Lord Noon is almost certainly not Russell Crowe in disguise. Almost. * Of the 29 languages spoken by Lord Noon, 27 are unknown to anyone but him. And one of the others is Latin. * Lord Noon thinks teabags are the best invention ever made. Entrance Music Waltz to the Death from the score to 1989's Batman, composed by Danny Elfman. External links *Xtreme Fighting Championship - version 2 (Also contains GWi archive) L